Knowing he had to work that afternoon for a few hours and that if things progressed that they would get together at our hotel to continue where they left off. The plan was for her to meet him for a lunch date. It wasn’t until later that she provided a few more details about their two hours together and I felt my heart skip a few beats. As we entered the freeway, she commented on how enjoyable it was to finally meet him in person and how they sat and talked about literally everything while having lunch. The drive back to our hotel was quiet to start with. He had to go get some things done at work before heading home. I knew deep down she had her phone put away and was focused solely on him.Ībout 30 minutes after my message was sent, she replied with a brief “good here” and a thumbs up emoji.Īnother 15 minutes passed and she said she was back at our car. ![]() It was the longest hour of my life but I decided to ask her how it was going. What were they doing? What were they talking about? We’re they still inside or did they drive off to our hotel together? I stopped numerous times and sat under shade trees to escape the moon hour sun. ![]() I watched from a distance as they entered the building together.įor the next two hours I walked around the adjacent park. Instead of going inside the building, I went around the corner to the outdoor vendor area. As I got close to the doors, I glanced behind me and was shocked to see them walking together not far from where we parked. It was hard to contain my excitement but I did my best to exude a calm, coolness about what was about to happen.Īfter parking the car, we both got out and I immediately began walking toward the crowded market. I was very comfortable with her meeting someone new and going on an afternoon date with him. We were 10 minutes from our destination and my reply was a firm “no”. Here's another argument: there's some pretty interesting research on female arousal that jives with my experience and says adding expectations to fulfill can seriously put on the sexual arousal "brakes.As we drove to the meeting place, Smexy asked me if I wanted to call it off. "Hotspousing" sounds like Sriracha or firefighting, so I would propose "hotmating"-both mates feeling hotter as the result of some "mating competition" frisson. And that's not what it feels like at all. So: can we change the language, please? "Hotwifing" makes him the agent and purpose of my sexual experiences. And I would like to think that that symmetry is the result of the 18 years of effort we've put into good communication and getting over cultural hang ups. But the inverse is true too: I have the impulse to claim him, I make him tell me what he's done and thought, and we share the thrill. He has the impulse to "claim" me before and after I like the thrill of his making me tell him what I've done and thought. My spouse gets off on me getting excited for a potential date. I write to take issue with the term "hotwifing" as inaccurate and stuck in antifeminist/heteronormative thinking. And we are getting off on each other and the reality and possibility of sleeping with others, FWB and strangers. Following a seven year "dormancy" of our non-monogamous shenanigans (and, largely, our own marital sex life), spring has sprung. Pre-kids, we each did some fooling around/sleeping with friends, separately and together, exploring kinks along the way. I've been with my husband 16 years, married for eight, open the whole time (starting as an idealistic long distance college kid relationship, we placed our earnest emphasis on trust, honesty and loyalty over monogamy-everything since has flowed from that).
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |